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MarriageUnder construction RelationshipsHaving a relationship is like working with a cheque book. You can only withdraw money from it if you have money in the account. Every time you try and withdraw money from it by writing out a cheque and you do not have money in the account, you pay a penalty, I.e. you now have less money than you had before you tried to withdraw money from the account. So it is with a relationship. The more you put into the relationship, the more money you have in the bank. Every time you criticize them, you withdraw money from that account. If you criticize somebody without having had a relationship with them, you just wrote out a cheque with not enough money in the bank. Now you have to work twice as hard to restore the money you tried to withdraw as well as extras to cover the penalty. Let us look at some examples: People love each other and they start dating. They put a lot of time and effort into their relationship. Wherever the one goes, you will see the other one as well. They get married. Suddenly they do not think it is necessary to spend every moment together any more. When they go to a party, you cannot identify who is married to who. The men gather together and the women gather together. Now one of them start talking about their bad experiences. The others can associate with the stories and everybody feels that have been wronged. Now come go home time. The husband smells like beer and immediately the wife makes a comment. She has just withdrawn money from the bank. Now they get home and the husband wants to make love. The wife makes another comment about him always wanting sex, and she withdraws even more money from the account. Men like playing with toys and are not in general very good with money matters. He buys something that she thinks is unnecessary and she makes a comment about it. Once again she withdraws money from the account. The wife no gets less attention than she normally gets. Typical female, she is not scared to talk to her other friends about the problems she is having with her husband. Once again money is withdrawn from the account. On the other hand, the husband gets home and the wife wants to have a nice chat. He thinks she is bugging him when he wants to get an update on the news and just have some peace and quiet. He withdraws money from the bank. She wants to go shopping, he makes a comment about what she buys and how long she takes to come to a decision. Once again he withdraws money from the bank. She wants to go to a movie and he makes a rude comment about the actor, the movie or his feeling about movies in general. Once again he withdraws money from the bank. How long do you think it will take before all the money in the bank (that they gathered while dating and spending time together) has been withdrawn? Before you make a statement, decide whether this will be a cash withdrawal or a cash deposit. Then make your move. You might also think you have money in the bank, but the bank manager thinks differently. You do not have money in the bank because you think you have, but because your partner thinks you have. How can you deposit money into the bank account? This is quite simple - you need to show your partner there is nothing (except God) that is more important to you than your partner. Every time you think about the other person before you think of yourself, you deposit money into the bank. If you buy a new car, it becomes your wife's car - you deposit money in the bank. When you get a new pen from a business partner and your wife likes it, you get the opportunity to deposit money into the bank. You can even have pleasurable ways of depositing money in the bank. Take her out so that she can shop, get to know her likes and dislikes, help her choose clothes and then take her to a coffee shop. You would have paid a lot of money into the account. If she does something that you do not like, like wearing clothes that you thinks looks horrible, do not tell her when you are at the party. But, before you go to the next party, ask her to please do not wear the same clothes again. This will give her enough time to think of something else to wear. But you have still drawn money out of the account. If you loose her trust, you will pay dearly for every cheque that you write out. If you have her respect and love, your cheques will be less expensive. |
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